Woman leaves the US for Germany and says: “Best decision I ever made”

Melissa Vargas spent much of her life “going through the motions” to be seen as a successful person. But as she approached her 30s, she began to question the direction her life was taking.

Despite excelling in her digital marketing career and following everything “people told her she needed to do,” Melissa felt like she wasn’t really experiencing anything new — and had fallen into a comfort zone.

It was during a longer trip to Europe for a wedding in 2016 that something changed. Until then, she hadn’t been much beyond Mexico and the Caribbean. But when she visited Munich, Germany, she felt something different.

A bold decision

“People were just enjoying life,” she told CNN Travel . The idea of ​​relaxing seemed strange to Melissa, who came from the frenetic pace of New York, where everything is “always rush, rush, rush.”

A few months after returning to the US, she got a job at a German agency and moved to Munich in late 2017. Today, almost eight years later, she is still there.

“Honestly, it was the best decision I ever made,” he says. “If I hadn’t done it back then, I don’t think I would have done it.”

Melissa says she was tired of the “work hard, play hard” mentality of New York and wanted a change. “I think when I turned 28, I started to think there had to be more to life than that.”

Born in the Dominican Republic and raised in New York City since she was a baby, she never felt like she fully fit in there. “I think I was at a point where I needed something different.”

Over time, he realized that he was living according to other people's expectations — and not his own desires.

“I grew up in a very tough neighborhood, got a scholarship to high school, then to Syracuse University, and graduated with two degrees,” he says. “I did everything that an immigrant family expects you to do.”

Wanting to get out of her comfort zone, Melissa decided to throw herself into the most challenging situation she could imagine: moving to a country she had only been to once and whose language she didn't speak.

“I felt like I was limiting myself by keeping my circle closed. New York is a bubble. You only realize that when you leave.”

Beginning of a new life

Soon after returning from her trip, she applied for a position in Munich and was thrilled when she was accepted.

According to Melissa, the company was essential in the work visa process — necessary for foreigners outside the European Union — even hiring a lawyer to help her with the move.

“I took a month off. Then I packed 28 years of my life into three suitcases. I had to leave behind several beautiful shoes,” he jokes.

She said goodbye to her family and friends, flew to Munich with a stopover in Lisbon, and arrived in her new city on a Sunday — when everything was closed, and she couldn't even get something to eat when she got to her apartment.

The next day, he went to get his tax registration (which is mandatory in Germany to start working). He only managed to actually move into his new office about two to three weeks later.

For the first few months, she made an effort to immerse herself in Bavarian culture and loved how new and exciting everything felt.

“I thought: 'I'm here, making things happen, just like in the series 'Emily in Paris'. But that was before the series! I was Melissa in Munich. A pioneer!” she jokes.

But even going to the supermarket could be stressful. “I spent two hours in there with no idea what I was buying.”

Despite loving the Christmas spirit and traditional Christmas markets, when New Year came around, the weather was always cloudy and rainy. That's when she started to question her decision.

“You find yourself thinking, ‘Wow, is this really what I chose?’” She acknowledges that the first year in a new country is always the hardest. “It’s the time when you can decide if it’s really for you. I almost gave up a few times.”

But she was determined: “I thought, if I can get through this discomfort and in the end I still want to go back, New York will still be there. And that’s what I kept telling myself.”

A new rhythm

Taking time to adapt to the slower pace of Germany was a challenge, but also an opportunity for a fresh start. “It took me years to detach myself from the chaotic energy of New York.”

She says that Sundays in Germany are “Ruhetag” — a day of rest . “You shouldn’t make noise, like drilling holes in the wall or playing loud music. I play music because I’m Latina,” she laughs. “But I avoid straining myself.”

The famous German directness was also easy to accept. “That was one of the reasons I felt out of place in New York. I’m very direct — sometimes too direct — so it was a relief to be among people who were equally direct. Here, I don’t have to mince my words.”

Despite their reputation for being tireless workers, she says Germans really value balance.

“When I told them I was going to Germany, my friends said, ‘Wow, nobody relaxes there, they just work.’ But it’s not like that. They work hard, yes, but there’s a big focus on balance and well-being.”

She was delighted to discover that the country has nine national holidays and that her vacation time has increased from 10 to about 30 days a year.

Melissa was also fascinated by the connection Germans have with nature — in the summer, she spends all day outdoors. “I don’t even have a TV, actually. I decided to immerse myself in this lifestyle. And I love it.”

As for the cost of living, she finds Germany much more affordable than the United States. “I can fill the fridge for about 100 euros. Everything is accessible, cheap and of much higher quality.”

She says that when she visits New York, she even avoids buying meat. “The quality there has dropped so much.”

“Embrace change”

Melissa says she feels extremely safe living in Germany — one of the safest countries in the world. She has even forgotten how to look around before opening the door.

“The worst thing that happened was that my bike was stolen one year.”

She planned to stay only a few years, but ended up staying eight — and now has permanent residency.

When he moved, he already spoke French, Italian and English, and thought that learning German would be easy. But he underestimated how difficult it would be.

“German is very difficult,” he says. But he dedicated himself a lot and today he can go to the doctor or exchange messages with friends in the language.

“I’m the type of person who, when learning a language, wants to understand every detail. And the crazy thing about German is that everything has a logic — there’s always a reason.”

Regarding the recent political tensions in the country, with the rise of far-right parties, she says that she follows the news, but that it does not affect her day-to-day life.

“I’ve never felt political ideologies made me feel excluded or insecure.” On the contrary: she felt more exposed to this kind of division when she lived in the US.

Almost a decade after moving, Melissa doesn’t see herself returning to New York. “Some of my friends are here in Europe, others have moved to other cities. Everyone has left New York. And for me, who grew up there, it was great while it lasted. But now, I don’t know what it would be like to live there again.”

During these years, she traveled extensively throughout Europe — she visited Italy, France and Spain — and even thought about moving to the latter, the homeland of her maternal grandmother. But for now, she intends to stay where she is.

“I’ve always wanted to learn more about the Spanish side of my family. Unfortunately, I haven’t yet found anyone here with genetic connections.”

“Maybe my ultimate goal is to live in Spain. But for now, I’m really enjoying life in Germany.”

Melissa advises anyone thinking about moving to another country to keep an open mind and heart.

“The most important thing is to be open. You will feel uncomfortable all the time, you will be in completely new environments. But don’t be tempted to close yourself off. Embrace change with open arms.”

“Every new experience will teach you something. And you will become a better person.”

She managed to build a network of friends in Munich and relied on this community to help her face the most difficult moment in her life: the loss of her mother.

“Having this support network made all the difference. My friends were my foundation. And I think that’s when everything really came together.”

Melissa still misses some things about New York — the restaurants, the fashion, the diversity — but she emphasizes that leaving everything she knew and reinventing herself was liberating.

She doesn't regret anything and believes she has grown a lot as a person since arriving in Germany.

“I always had family and friends around me. There was always a plan, someone to help me. But in this situation, the only person who could help me was myself. And I needed that. I needed to give myself a chance to grow.”